44. The Vixen Diaries

by Karrine Steffans

started 9/29/07 finished 9/29/07

Okay, I read this book today during the commercial breaks of all the show premieres I taped this week. This book left me just as conflicted and frustrated as the first book. And not for the reasons that you might think. I have no problem with promiscuity if that is what you want to do. Even if it involves celebrities. Everyone has a famous person that they might give up their spouses or partners for. I personally have a list of a few actors or singers that if they just looked at me sideways, my clothes may fall right off. But I am clear that it is just about having fun and won't lead to a lasting relationship.

If her writing is any indication, Karrine Steffans is an intelligent woman. You can tell she gets her read on and I am sure that hanging out with Bill Maher allowed her to soak up information by osmosis. She is very clear about how her life has shaped her self-esteem and subsequent choices. What I don't understand is why she still jumps headfirst into relationships with men. She will write three paragraphs so introspective that you want to send her therapist a check. Then she will describe the love that she has with someone that is so deep it is beyond explanation to us mere mortals. Then they leave her and go back to their real lives. It is so frustrating.

Anyway, if it is gossip you are looking for this one isn't as chock full as the first one, although it includes return appearances by Ray J and Bobby Brown. The Vixen Diaries is more about her life after the first book and how people treat her as a result. Especially interesting is her encounter with Jamie Foxx (oops, my clothes just fell off!).

One of the best chapters is the last one, which is a letter to Papa, the infamous unnamed celebrity in the first book. She finally reveals who it is....and Joy, you were right.

43. Black Skyy, The Lady in Black Series Book One

by Janet Stevens Cook


started 9/8/07 ended 9/27/07





I must admit that had the author not come into my job and introduced herself, I probably wouldn't have read this book. Black Skyy is published by Strebor Books International, which is a company started by bestselling author Zane. Most of the books they publish are so called "Street" or "Urban" lit, and I am not their target audience. I am not interested in how hard it is to survive the drug game or how a sista has to use what she's got to get what she wants. Never have been.


Black Skyy, on the other hand, is more for grown folks. Yes, the lead character Sandy has a hardscrabble childhood filled with drugs, prostitution culminating in watching her mother murdered by the henchman of a powerful drug dealer. But she survives to work her way up in Corporate America. The real story lies in how she transforms from one life to the other and how she develops the persona of Skyy, The Lady in Black - who avenges the wrongs done to children and women (reminiscent of one of my favorite authors - Andrew Vachss).

What I Liked:

• Locations include D.C., New York, South America (love it when Black People go international !)
• References I can relate to - Jenisa Washington (leatherwear designer and wife of Isaiah) and Jim Vance (my favorite newscaster growing up)
• Although she kicks ass, Skyy sometimes belies the SBW (Strong Black Woman) myth and reveals a sensitive side seems unsure of herself and the missions that she has taken on.

What I Disliked:

The problem with some of these small publishing companies is that they don't invest enough in professional editors and proofreaders. There were a couple timeline issues and the voice changes from first person to narrative was sometimes confusing.

This is the first book in the series and I look forward to seeing where The Lady In Black goes next.

Books 4 U

As a part of my decluttering process (that seems to be taking years), I want to give some books away. I have started a list on the side of the titles that are available. I will continue to add more titles. Let me know if you want any.

42. Red River

by Lalita Tademy
started 9/7/07 finished 9/22/07

A few years ago, I swore off books & movies about slavery and the holocaust. They just make me too angry. And as a retail employee I kinda stay in a mild state of anger, so I don't need more ammunition. But then I read Lalita Tademy's Cane River. Tademy quit her corporate career as a Vice President at Sun Microsystems to become a writer and in the tradition of "writing what you know", she set out to tell the story of her ancestors on her mother's side of the family. She chose to tell this story in the form of a novel (and admitted it, unlike Alex Haley). It was well written and compelling and later Oprah picked it for her book club.

This time around Tademy is telling the story of her father's side of the family. Red River is told around a real-life historical event that took place in 1873 in Colfax, Louisiana. A recent election resulted in a change of administration in Colfax, giving the newly freed slaves hope that they could continue to create better lives for themselves. The White community of the area had plans to make sure that never happened. What ensued was referred to by the Whites as a "riot" and the Blacks as a "massacre". Red River uses this event to begin telling the history of the Tademy family and follows it for the next 70 years.

I consider myself somewhat of a student of African-American history and love that I got to learn so much from this book. It isn't often that happens when reading fiction. Its also interesting that I was reading about the events in Colfax, Louisiana while listening to the events in Jena, Louisiana.

One of the most touching parts of the book was finding out that the name "Tademy" is actually an Americanized version of the name that one of their ancestors brought with them from Africa. Their original name is Ta-ta-mee and they originated from the Egypt and the Nile River Delta. The men from this branch of this family held on this memory during slavery and made sure that they passed it on their heirs. Near the end of the book after hearing it again I started to cry and thought what a blessing it is to know what your "real" name is because so many of us don't.

Lalita Tademy is featured in the October issue of O, Magazine in an article on a Black female writer's group.

S.W.A.P.

For those of you who don't sew, in the sewing world S.W.A.P. stands for Sewing With A Plan. It means exactly what it says - you have some blueprint laid out for you that determines what you sew. There are different kinds:

• Contests sponsored by fabric stores (usually online). They have a theme and specific garments that you must sew. For example a Work Wardrobe may include 2 blouses, 1 dress, 1 pair of pants, 1 skirt & a jacket. At least one of the garments must be sewn in fabric bought from the retailer. You usually win a gift certificate to purchase more fabric!
• SWAPs sponsored by sewing websites or groups that have no purchase requirements. These are pretty much the same as above, with specific garments that have to be sewn. If it is sponsored by a company, there is a prize involved. Sometimes it is just a group of blogger friends who want to inspire each other and enjoy some friendly competition.
• Self-imposed SWAPs are personal. You look in your closet and see that your wardrobe needs some sprucing up. Or, you change jobs and the new job has a different dress code and you need to get up to speed. Or, you are going on a Hawaiian vacation and need to beef up your sarong stash. (I hope to one day do that one!)

I have a couple of SWAPs in mind for myself. My wardrobe suffers from years of super casualness and weight gain. This has left me with none of the essentials like a LBD (Little Black Dress) or a crisp white shirt (the one I have is a hand-me-down from a friend's sister and it is now more yellow than white).

I already have a small fabric stash:

Believe me, compared to most people and what I used to have, this is small.

The only problem is that my job has a dress code for supervisors:

• Black or white collared shirt or turtleneck


• Black or khaki pants, skirts, or walking shorts (may not be corduroy or denim)

None of the fabric above fits that criteria.

This is what I got for the dress code:

Not much to work with, huh? The 3 tan pieces will be pants and maybe 1 skirt. The 2 white pieces are for crisp white shirts (foundation wardrobe, here I come!). The black pieces will be 1 camp shirt (still searching for the perfect pattern) and pants and maybe a skirt.

Today I am cutting out the beige fabric on top to make these:

Vogue 8041, View B (on the far left) - this pattern is out of print. They are supposed to fit below the waist and that hasn't really worked out for me in the past. So I added a couple of inches below the waistband. We will see how they turn out because other than lengthening I have never made pattern adjustments in my life!

Wish me luck on my SWAP!

My Sewing Life, Part 2

That period in college was probably my most creative and productive. I have always been clear that I am a seamstress not a designer. I totally need a pattern to tell me what to do. My friend Karen, on the other hand, sews totally freestyle. She is also an artist, so she will sketch something out and make it. I think being around her (especially when we lived next door to each other and had marathon sewing nights) really inspired me. During this time I made coats, party dresses, menswear ... you name it. I was also very fortunate (being young) to be able to wear clothing straight out of the pattern envelope with no alterations (except for adding length - I am a tall girl).
When I left Tallahassee for Atlanta (then L.A., then Atlanta) my sewing kinda fell off. Not sure why. Maybe it was growing up, working, socializing...I don't know. It just started petering off. Still kept buying fabric though (it's a rule!).
The last few years I have made some things but they didn't fit correctly. I gained quite a bit of weight but didn't adjust the size of the patterns I made (delusional). Also, I needed to learn how to adjust the patterns because my body just isn't shaped like it used to be (delusion over).
In the last few months (thanks to a new computer and high-speed internet) I have spent a lot of time reading sewing blogs and am finding inspiration to start sewing again.
That is my sewing life ... and it's new beginning.

Further Tales

While out doing my errands this morning (and listening to Talib Kweli) I realized that there were some things that I meant to put in the last post, but I forgot.

• I do like the Kanye West cd; just not all at one time. I felt the same way with the latest Justin Timberlake cd. When the songs came up randomly in shuffle on my ipod it was party time. But when I listened to the whole cd from start to finish it was just too much Timbaland.
• Talib Kweli mentions Lynne Thigpen in one of his rhymes. How hot is that?
• I put an asterisk by 50 Cent's name because I wanted to come back to him later. No, I am not a huge fan of his current work. It is a little skewed towards his female fans and what he thinks they want to hear. However, he has lost some of the magic that he had very early in his career like How to Rob from the In Too Deep soundtrack or his early mixtapes.

I think that is all.

A Tale of Two CD's

This past Tuesday I bought 2 cds. Yes, Kanye West's Graduation was one of them. No, 50 cent wasn't the other one.* The other cd is Talib Kweli's Eardrum.
I regret buying one and regret not buying the other one sooner.

Although I have all of his cd's, I am not a huge Kanye West fan. I enjoy his work as a producer for other artists way more than his own (feel the same way about Will.I.Am). Graduation has left me feeling sort of confused.
Now, as a proud ipod owner, when I buy new music (still not downloaded bunches of stuff, yet) I take it home and load it into itunes. But because I watch so much damn tv I don't have my inaugural listen until the commute to work the next day on the train. Also, as a female fan of real hip-hop, I tend to pay more attention to the music and production first and then the lyrics on subsequent listens. I listen to the cd from start to finish. If a track is particularly genius (like Star/Pointro on the Roots' Tipping Point, or Jeff & Fess on Jazzy Jeff's The Return of the Magnificent) then I will listen to it 3 or 4 times before moving on to the next song.
While listening to Kanye on the train and reading my book, I realized that I had listened to half of the cd and nothing stood out to me. It was like one long song. Nothing stood out. Nothing made me rewind. He does nothing new. Talks about nothing new. Doesn't sample songs in a new way. (Damn, Kanye! We get it. You are really good at finding obscure soul tracks and speeding up the vocals to make a hot track! Happy now? - probably not).
The only two songs that made me stop and take notice is the last cut, Big Brother, his ode to Jay-Z (although the favorite of music journalist Greg Tate), and Drunk & Hot Girls (because anything that Mos Def does is wonderful to me - except his last throwaway album.
Is Kanye West's album better than a lot of stuff masquerading as hip-hop? Yes, it is, but it is not the best that he can do.

Eardrum, on the other hand, kinda took me surprise. I expected to like it, but not love it. Kweli has really broadened his horizons on this effort, covering a myriad of topics and styles (that's what happens when you work with more than one producer). I was scared when I saw it had 20 tracks on it (compared to Kanye's 13) and so many collaborators (including your boy Kanye). But the cd never got old and tired and wasn't filled with a lot of in-between song skits (that's usually what it means when there are that many selections).
Best songs: Country Cousins (feat. UGK & Raheem DeVaughn)
Eat to Live
Hot Thing (feat Will.I.AM) current single

Unfortunately, like most hip-hop artists who are really about something (with the exception of Common, who is getting much deserved recognition), most people will never hear this outstanding work. In fact, today they announced the nominees for the BET 2007
Hip Hop Awards (held here in the Atl) and Kweli was nowhere to be found.

.....but, Kanye was all over it.

41. Dr. Neal Barnard's Program for Reversing Diabetes

by Dr. Neal Barnard

started 9/6/07 finished 9/7/07

I will start numbering the book posts so you can see how many books I actually read in a year. (Brag much, Toni?)

I heard about this book while listening to Dr. Mehmet Oz's show on XM radio. During the interview, Dr. Barnard mentioned that the best diet for diabetics is a vegan one. As some of you know, my mother died officially from complications of diabetics (unofficially I think that she was just ready to go), and I have been flirting with veganism for a few years, so I checked this book out from work.

Dr. Barnard's father was a doctor who specialized in diabetes and recognized that some of the conventional medical wisdom had to be thrown out of the window. Picking up where his father left off, Dr. Barnard has been exploring further the role that diet plays in the disease. He believes that the elimination of animal fats (in the form of meat & dairy) are more detrimental even than the carbs that everyone is trying to stay away from. He even says it is okay to eat pasta! The effect that carbs has on blood sugar or your body's glycemic index is far less than animal products.

Dr. Barnard's book includes case studies, meal plans and recipes. I read this book in a day because I read a lot of information on healthy eating, vegetarianism, and veganism and I knew much of this stuff already. I have already replaced most of the dairy, eggs, & sugar in my diet with healthy alternatives. Eating prepared food out is my biggest downfall.

Now, you know that I can sometimes be the food police. And you also know that I have my fair share of turkey sandwiches and frappacino-type drinks. But lately I have been feeling those things affecting my blood sugar quicker than they have in the past and I for one can't continue to eat this way. It's not as hard as you think it is to cut out meat from your diet. I have done it before and only went back out of pure laziness. But as a 42 year old woman who has yet to have children I have to be more vigilant about what I put in my body. Looks like I will be moving closer to veganism than ever before.

My Sewing Life

It is about time that I add some sewing content to this reading & sewing blog.

My mother didn't sew or do anything crafty. She read books. And she also read books. And sometimes she would read books. So I don't get my crafty gene from her. Her sister Nancy, on the other hand, did sew. She moved in with us for awhile after my father died and her creativity may have spilled over some on me. She wallpapered our house with sheets (it totally worked), cut the legs off an old dining table to make it into a really wide coffee table (i loved that table) and she "found" some old lamppost covers and put them over naked bulbs. She didn't make too many of her clothes from scratch, but she would do a lot of restructuring and transforming ready-to-wear.

I learned how to sew the same way most people did - in 8Th grade Home Economics class. After that semester I asked for a sewing machine for Christmas and got it. Youth makes you really adventurous and when I think back on some of the stuff I made back then I am really proud:

A bright red Qiana shirt and skirt set. Qiana was the essential disco fabric and I probably wouldn't be caught dead in it today.

An authentic poodle skirt made from flannel - the kind that you usually see as squares in craft stores. It was really cute.
A pair of chocolate brown wide-wale corduroy jodphurs that I made in high school and wore until they almost fell apart in college. Loved those!

I took my sewing machine with me to college where I found several kindred spirits. Lots of girls at Florida A & M University were seamstresses. And we needed to be, because anyone who has ever gone to a HBCU (historically black college & university) knows that that are a lot of sorority and fraternity formals to attend. Unlike our counterparts at other colleges, everybody went to them whether you were a member or not. Maybe it was because it was Tallahassee, Fl and there wasn't anywhere else to go!!

After a couple of years (yes, I was in school for a long time - paying for it myself: one semester on, one semester off), I got a job in a fabric store (after working in a bookstore - you know I was still reading!). Then it was on!! My roommate also worked there as Assistant Manager and let's just say we took a few "liberties" (one of them is a serger that a customer paid for and never picked up; I still have it today).

Part 2 to come....

Alek: From Sudanese Refugee to International Supermodel

by Alek Wek
started 9/3/07 finished 9/7/07

I don't really like to read the memoirs of people under 40, because they have so much more life in front of them (with the exception of Maya Angelou, who wrote her story in a series of books). Of course I made an exception in this case because living in a war torn African country probably as 3 or 4 lifetimes in one.
By the time she was born, Alek's parents had already fled the country a couple of times to flee the conflict. As a result they were exposed to more ways of life than most of their peers and wanted to make sure that their children were educated and successful. But no amount of preparation can help you when a civil war is basically being fought closer and closer to your front door. The story of the families 2 week long trek through the jungle to the father's ancestral village is incredible and shows what humans are capable of when they want something bad enough.
In fact, that is really the theme of Alek Wek's life so far. From escaping Sudan and emigrating to London to working her way through school to forging a place for herself in an industry based on the beauty of people who don't look like her to starting her own handbag company in the name of her father. She may not be forty yet, but judging from her life so far, she will continue to stand up to whatever life throws at her and push on through.

I recommend this book to young girls as well.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life

by Barbara Kingsolver
started 8/21/07 finished 9/2/07

I am not a country girl. I have lived in 3 major cities (Washington, DC, Atlanta, Los Angeles) and 1 minor city (Tallahassee) in my lifetime. Because of that, most of my meals have come from a grocery store or restaurant. However, my mother was from the country and brought a little of Staunton, Virginia with her to Washington, DC. In the huge backyard of our rented house in the inner city she kept a garden. Because of that I know what real tomatoes, greens, cucumbers, etc. taste like - and it ain't like that stuff in the grocery store or most restaurants.

After leaving the arid desert of Tucson to move to a farm in Virginia, Barbara Kingsolver and her family decided to eat locally for a year. That meant only consuming items that were grown or produced within a few hundred miles of their home. We are all aware of the importance of eating organically and energy conservation, but what we don't always think about is the energy (fuel) used to truck all of this healthy organic food to us.

This book chronicles month by month how the Kingsolver-Hopp family fared in their fairly new lifestyle. You will learn alot about eating seasonally, growing your own food (veggies, fruits, & animals), and also about small town life. Steven L. Hopp (Kingsolver's husband) contributes essays about the industrial food complex and ways to eat more responsibly. Her daughter Camille contributes recipes and meal plans using the family's harvest.

Informative and eye-opening for us urbanistas. It is worth a read if only for learning about the mating habits of turkeys.

Random Thoughts - 2

One of the great things about getting older is that a lot of things start to make sense. Words and phrases that you have heard all your life and have taken for granted and never questioned become clear. I was listening to Lupe Fiasco's "I Gotcha" (love Lupe Fiasco - new CD in November!) and he said, "...faster than that hog in the hedges". Oooohhhh, that animal is like a small pig that lives in hedges and gardens and such.

This is part of the reason that I don't watch Entertainment Tonight anymore: they reported today the record-breaking amount raised this weekend during the Jerry Lewis Telethon for Muscular Dystrophy. What they didn't mention at all was when he referred to a family member on the air as an "illiterate fag". If Isaiah Washington had raised a whole bunch of money for charity (he is building a school in Africa), would they have not run that s**t in the ground like they did?

Finally, for those of you that don't believe in The Secret or the Law of Attraction, here is proof. The day after I finish working a whole bunch of overtime, the catalogs for Aerosoles and Naturalizer shoes arrive in the mail - both with 20% off coupons. It's like the Universe knew that I was gonna have the money to buy my fall shoes and acted on my intention to make that happen. There are no coincidences!!!

Buddha: A Story of Enlightenment

by Deepak Chopra
started 8/13/07 8/21/07

In addition to various other undiagnosed mental illnesses, I have bouts of Autism and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The former manifests itself as "Hip-Hop Autism". Which means that when I hear certain phrases, in seconds my mind will find the hip-hop lyric associated with it. For example, when I hear..."Miss Toni, your college student loan (for a degree you didn't earn) is now paid in full", I must immediately reply..."Thinking of a master plan. This ain't nothin' but sweat inside my hand...."
The OCD comes into play in how I choose what to read next. I try to alternate between fiction and non-fiction. So, after reading the mystery Blonde Faith by Walter Mosley, I picked up Buddha by Deepak Chopra ready to immerse myself in his story. But it turned out to be fiction! I was pissed! I hate it when authors fictionalize the stories of real people. How can you re-create conversations and details and smells, etc. when none of the people are still alive? I was angry with Mr. Chopra, who I really admire (although I met him once and he wasn't very friendly; but I think he needed coffee, it was pretty early).
Since I don't like giving up on books, I plugged ahead and was pleasantly surprised. Once I gave up any expectations (Buddha would be proud) and just lost myself in the story I found it to be a well-written, exciting, and thorough account of what the Buddha must have gone through on his path to enlightenment.

Coming Attractions....

Sorry about the lack of posting. I am actively reading books. I just got sidelined by the September issues of various fashion magazines. Vogue, Elle, & Lucky are the ones I subscribe to and the rest (Harper's Bazaar, Allure, etc.) I read on my lunch hours at work. So, coming soon will be posts on these books:
Buddha by Deepak Chopra (finished)
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver (currently reading)
Alek by Alek Wek (starting soon)
Dr. Neal Barnard's Program for Reversing Diabetes by Dr. Neal Barnard (starting soon)

Also, there will be posts about sewing and fashion (cuz I know that's what you guys really want).